


Kill It With Fire

by BoStarsky



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Beer, Crack, Distressed spiders, blowtorch, girly screams, kill it to the death, spider - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:12:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6784663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoStarsky/pseuds/BoStarsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Jesus Chirst, Hammond!"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Put the bloody blowtorch down, it's just a spider."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill It With Fire

"Jesus Chirst, Hammond!"

"What?"

"Put the bloody blowtorch down, it's just a spider."

"James, that thing is so big it should have its own pet. I'm not having that on my property." In all fairness it is a pretty big spider, but not big enough to warrant death by a fire wielding Richard Hammond. Who's more likely to burn the building down than actually kill the damned thing anyway. 

"Well, it your fault for living in out in the boonies, everything out here is three time the size it should be." Carefully plucking the blowtorch out of Richard's white knuckled grip he extinguishes it and puts it aside. "Chuck something at it instead." He suggests, but before he can locate a sufficient object for spider killing, the beast moves an inch up the wall and Hammond screams like a little girl and launches the closest, heavy object at hand in the direction of the distressed arachnid. The socket wrench hits the hairy foe in the back and brings it to the ground in painless demise leaving only a brownish smear and a spindly leg on the wall as evidence of its defeat. Richard screams some more at the grotesque murder scene and just like that it's over. 

"I need a beer."


End file.
